Sheilah Gashumba Sparks Debate Over Valentine’s Day Relationship Expectations
In the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, when social media feeds begin to fill with bouquets and carefully staged affection, Sheilah Gashumba offered a different kind of message.
In a post shared on X, she wrote:
“Another Valentine’s Day for entitled and ungrateful women to think it’s only them who deserve to be gifted and spoilt! Love is a two way street not a one way street . Be thoughtful to your caring, kind and respectful partners too. They need to feel the love too!”
The statement, direct and unembellished, quickly drew thousands of reactions. Some praised her for articulating what they described as a necessary reminder about reciprocity in relationships. Others criticized the tone, arguing that the phrasing risked generalization.
The debate that followed revealed a deeper cultural tension.
In Uganda, as in many parts of the world, Valentine’s Day has evolved into a public performance of devotion, often framed around men as gift-givers and women as recipients. The language of “spoiling” has become normalized, and with it, expectations that can feel quietly one-sided.
Ms. Gashumba’s intervention reframed the conversation. Rather than centering the holiday on consumption or display, she shifted attention to participation to the idea that affection should not move in a single direction.
Among the responses was a mix of humor and endorsement. One user wrote, “My partner will not see this post in the name of Jesus,” a remark that drew a lighthearted reaction from Ms. Gashumba herself. But beneath the laughter, the discussion persisted.
Public figures often amplify private conversations. In this case, a seasonal post became a referendum on modern partnership: What does fairness look like in love? Who carries emotional labor? And how much of Valentine’s Day is shaped by tradition versus expectation?
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